I began a new role as Interim Vice President for Student Affairs and Chief Diversity Officer at the end of July. I had big ideas for my newly created division. We were going to unpack data, dig deep at how students were experiencing our campus and develop plans for change. As I started getting daily calls from each of my new direct reports with issues we needed to address immediately, I realized if I sent them the request I was preparing they would all run for the hills. I needed to take a step back and reevaluate my expectations with COVID and how it was impacting my direct reports. I am a huge fan of Brene Brown and her advice around understanding that people are doing the best they can has been transformational for me as a leader. I remind myself of this often and it is powerful every time. If I approach people both personally and professionally recognizing that what I expect and what is realistic in the moment may not match has help guide me to better meet people where they are and work with them to move to where I need them to be.
In the age of COVID, I am finding that people need you to listen and understand their perspective. Leadership in crisis sometimes has us forget our core values and forget that we only know a little bit of what is going on in the lives of the folx around us. I recently had a situation that was personally difficult. I had staff extremely concerned about their well being in COVID and created a situation that I felt didn’t take in to account the risk they brought to others. Luckily, we have all tested negative so that concern has been alleviated. In all honesty, I didn’t even process how hurt I was by the situation until it was completely over and I was home. I had to have a serious conversation with my coach and yes, be sure you have a strong mentor or coach in your life to help navigate what can be extremely difficult situations. Through my conversation I realized I needed to take a step back and come up with a plan to better understand the perspective of some of the staff in my area. I do also think it will be critical for them to understand my perspective as well. For me as a leader, it is crucial that I am accessible and willing to lean into difficult conversations being mindful that we all have so much going on in our lives that impact our perspective and we all need to be keep this in mind.
We are truly all doing the best we can.
Mary Bonderoff, EdD (she, her, hers) is currently the Interim Vice President for Student Affairs and Chief Diversity Officer at SUNY Morrisville and has worked in the SUNY system for 30 years. She serves as the Associate Chair for the NY ACE Women’s Network